I wannas sexs uuuuu
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
