Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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