We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize