But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
