We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
