Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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