well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
