so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
