how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
