Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
