he told me I talked like a deaf person
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
