I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
where are my eyebrows?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
