Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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