I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have tasted many bathrooms
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
