i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I want a musical about memes.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
