She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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