I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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