thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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