My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
