We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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