He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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