a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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