You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
