a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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