Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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