I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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