i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize