you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
