summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
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You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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