so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
