Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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