I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
