she was so not down for the gang bang
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
