D3 body, D1 cock
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
