i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
