Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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