omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
