he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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