Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
