all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
