I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
