Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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