So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
