He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
