so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
