What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
