Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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