i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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