god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just gift wrapped bread.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.