Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

(1-434): View more from Virginia

but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

(434): View more from Virginia

then give me ur phone

(1-434): View more from Virginia

NEVER!!

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(434): u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it (1-434): but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text (434): then give me ur phone (1-434): NEVER!! http://tfl.nu/jzom

Replies (3) Good night (1309) Bad night (565)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

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(505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b

Replies (42) Good night (1212) Bad night (2448)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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(304): I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine. http://tfl.nu/cm6i

Replies (49) Good night (802) Bad night (6276)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.

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(602): You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy. http://tfl.nu/r33s

Replies (15) Good night (3157) Bad night (824)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

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(508): I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money" http://tfl.nu/engr

Replies (14) Good night (6410) Bad night (1144)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass

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(412): just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass http://tfl.nu/r852

Replies (3) Good night (3479) Bad night (1039)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

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(228): He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good" http://tfl.nu/hwu1

Replies (33) Good night (6835) Bad night (1209)
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(775): View more from Nevada

The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"

(1-775): View more from Nevada

At least you got your shooes

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(775): The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time" (1-775): At least you got your shooes http://tfl.nu/51m2

Replies (6) Good night (1875) Bad night (667)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.

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(702): Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad. http://tfl.nu/3xek

Replies (3) Good night (460) Bad night (1332)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?

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(412): Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am? http://tfl.nu/j782

Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (607)
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(949): View more from California

You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"

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(949): You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker" http://tfl.nu/29yd

Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (433)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.

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(865): My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy. http://tfl.nu/ige6

Replies (4) Good night (1678) Bad night (454)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."

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(920): "Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see." http://tfl.nu/5bgq

Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (359)
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(574): View more from Indiana

Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.

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(574): Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time. http://tfl.nu/00ef

Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (354)
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(315): View more from New York

we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury

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(315): we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury http://tfl.nu/pw29

Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (271)

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