I think about you every night.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
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My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban