Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  dude i'm inner monologue high

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  (909): dude i'm inner monologue high http://tfl.nu/4ebt
  Replies (21) Good night (4287) Bad night (680)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.

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  (336): Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see. http://tfl.nu/n17o
  Replies (13) Good night (892) Bad night (2598)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"

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  (570): so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses" http://tfl.nu/fgtz
  Replies (13) Good night (4725) Bad night (1084)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun

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  (860): So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun http://tfl.nu/05t6
  Replies (16) Good night (7274) Bad night (989)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing

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  (808): for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing http://tfl.nu/0vur
  Replies (14) Good night (744) Bad night (5089)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

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  (720): You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger. http://tfl.nu/3qkv
  Replies (90) Good night (1834) Bad night (12937)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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  (479): the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is" http://tfl.nu/kt8o
  Replies (11) Good night (2649) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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  (605): Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away... http://tfl.nu/4asr
  Replies (4) Good night (1311) Bad night (1208)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.

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  (502): I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever. http://tfl.nu/bzzy
  Replies (6) Good night (3970) Bad night (800)
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  (510): View more from California

  Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.

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  (510): Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals. http://tfl.nu/vphu
  Replies (16) Good night (2450) Bad night (805)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.

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  (309): Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back. http://tfl.nu/c0o1
  Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"

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  (954): Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!" http://tfl.nu/vh6t
  Replies (21) Good night (1509) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP

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  (724): umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP http://tfl.nu/bluu
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (723)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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  (402): i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding. http://tfl.nu/exiv
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least

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  (312): woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least http://tfl.nu/d3yx
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (360)

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