I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law