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• (714): View more from California

  OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.

  Fav 36 1063 6155

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.

  Fav 11 1316 4703

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.

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• (849): View more from

  Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"

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• (714): View more from California

  I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket

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