I'm drive I can fine osifer
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There are leaves in my underwear?
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