I look better un-naked...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if only i could text you this smell
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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