You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
