She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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