Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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