the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
