I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
