and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
