also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Randomize