I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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