Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
