dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
