every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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