Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dick very happy bro
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
