The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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