I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your cock deserves a montage
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
