She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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