It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I want her autograph on my taint
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
